Nobody Wakes Up In The Morning Wanting To Be The “Bad Guy”.
Everyone alive thinks that they’re the “good guy.” He or she is always the hero in their version of the story – just like you and me. They have a reason for what they do — even if it’s impractical or unworkable or has evil consequences.
People who complicate life for themselves and others are like scorpions caught in the sun, waving their stinger around carelessly. You can get hurt if you get too close.
Treat them like you’d treat a drunk driver. Just stay away from them. If you have such a toxic person in your life, let them go or minimize your involvement with them. It’s the only sane thing to do.
You can’t “save” them, and you can’t change them. No one ever changes anybody. People change themselves, in their own time. Or they don’t.
People who are toxic aren’t worth changing even if you could. And you can’t. Don’t waste time complaining about them. Or going over the “injustice” of it.
If someone hurts you, it’s not about you and you shouldn’t feel like it was. People do what they do because of their own inner reality. Learn what you can do differently the next time, then forgive them and move on.
Really. Forgive them completely. And then, figure out how to manage, tolerate or avoid them in the future. Focus on cutting your losses and continuing your growth toward your goals.
You know, forgiving doesn’t mean that you think whatever they did is okay. It’s NOT okay. But here’s the thing — if you don’t forgive someone you can’t ever let it go. Then you have to go around with a burden of anger and sourness.
Wasn’t the original hurt enough for you? Why would you want to preserve it and rehearse it and remember it? Or them? Don’t you have more pleasant things to think about?
Carrying grudges ties up brain cells that you could use to make life sweeter for yourself and those you love. So, after you forgive them, forgive yourself for getting hurt, learn your lesson — and then LET IT GO!