With the stereotyping, and labeling, and forcing other people to assume roles and statuses for us, it’s important to remember that, aside from only “knowing” through one’s own partial and personal view, that each and every person, organization, or country, deity or other entity that we force to hold in a particular way CANNOT stay within those rigid bounds ALL the time.
There will be exceptions to every characteristic we attempt to staple on to them. Bad people will be nice to someone; nice people will become gnarly; media gods will fall of their pedestal and their arses will hang out.
That’s because they are human.
Even someone who creates an image of themselves for public consumption – a politician, a television personality, journalist with a picture by-line – non of them can be “perfectly” this or that 24/7.
I sometimes hear it said, “not even Tony Robbins can be “Tony Robbins” all the time.”
Can you imagine trying to be THAT, day in and day out, day after day? Imagine having to be that bright and bouncy first thing in the morning. I’m telling you… Tony Robbins wakes up grumpy and doesn’t want to “LIVE WITH PASSION” on some mornings.
The point here is that sometimes we try and live as an image of ourselves rather than being ourselves. And it makes it tough. We will NEVER be as perfect as the images we can make of ourselves.
Some might approach it, but the most beautiful, “rich and famous” people I have worked with all make themselves miserable for not being the one they see in the pictures taken after a horde of stylists and make up people and advisors have “worked their magic”.
Stop torturing yourself for either not being someone else, or being who you are. Cut yourself some slack, stop being food for the parasites who need you unhappy in order to sell you stuff and suck the life force clean out of you.
Take a good look in the mirror tomorrow morning – see it, as it is, in all its splendor – the human condition.
That’s you and me. There it is. The basic model. The same basic model that many beautiful people see as well when they wake up in the morning (cf. validating perceptions).
The more you release the need to be other than who you are, and the more you turn to what you can do (and be) for others; the greater the amount of energy you will have for turning outwards because you’re not wasting it inwards.
When you “put your face on” – put it on so that it is clear and pointed to the world – let your ablutions be the time to sharpen your intent and desires for the day rather than a meditation on how old and useless you are; how ugly you look; or how wonky your smile is.
This pattern came from a Church of England pastor who was an extraordinary story teller.
He said that he used his morning “mirror time” for prayer, when he would ask God for the inspiration to say the right thing at the right time, to be available to all, to turn from his needs to others needs, etc., etc.
What was cool about this is that more than few celebrities also pray to their god, when looking into the mirror, but the god happens to be themselves… but it’s the same pattern of “praying” (hoping/trying to look/etc/) for certain intentions to manifest themselves.
It’s a pattern with variations across cultures and it took me years before I was willing to try it.
There’s something about the mirror that strengthens one’s resolve – perhaps it’s reflecting our non-verbal congruence back to us (not that an explanation is even necessary). This is one to simply work with.
- Cut yourself some slack. Stop trying to be or become, and just be.
- Start using “mirror time” every morning to focus your intent, pray (if that’s a thing for you), and focus on what you are bringing to the day while you perform your ablutions.
At worst, you will have talked to yourself while getting ready for the day, but at best, you may discover a powerful new resource to bring to your life.